Do you want a partner that sticks around rubs his hands through your hair every night because it makes him feel like a king?
Do you want someone to hold you tight in his arms every single night, because he wants to?
If you want a man like this (and YES, they DO exist!), you MUST stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW!
Do you feel like you will be single forever and want to know what you can do about it?
I hope so.
The one thing you HAVE to stop this minute, if you want real hands all over your body and your heart kind of love is this…
STOP dating and waiting around for men who are unavailable.
There are 2 main types of unavailable men (and sometimes the 2 are combined).
But just because all players are tall doesn’t mean all tall men are players. And one is easier to spot (and it’s not just because he is tall).
- Physically unavailable
- Emotionally unavailable
The physically unavailable man is, well… not in your vicinity or in your life.
I’m not against long-distance-relationships at all, but if the man you love lives in a different country (or even a different state) and you are living paycheck to paycheck, it can make seeing each almost impossible.
If you’ve got the leer jet on the runway, it might make it easier, but you are probably so busy running your.com you don’t have time for a real visit.
This 3000 mile away guy might be the man of your dreams… but in reality, he is only your fantasy.
And that is it.
If the two of you never plan date number two, or never ever have date number one, he is what I call, a cyber soul mate. It feels so good it must be love, and maybe it is, because we are more than our physical bodies.
If you want to spend the rest of your life cuddling with a body pillow and skyping with the man of your dreams, go right ahead.
But in reality dating Mr. New Zealand is like being single, and he will never help you wash the dishes. Ever.
The two of you may have connected online so you could remember what it feels like to have deep romantic feelings, because they do feel good, (especially if he is a good writer or a talker).
But if you want to actually kiss the love of your life and get busy between the flannel sheets when it’s cold outside, you better keep on looking.
The Emotionally unavailable man is much trickier to spot than Where’s Waldo physically unavailable cyber soul mate? (Even if he is tall).
What do unavailable men look like?
They are always handsome (at least in your eyes).
These elusive men look like normal guys.
They look like your neighbor, Burt Reynolds, your UPS guy, and the smoking hot dude from tinder.
I’m now going to tell you 10 ways YOU can SPOT an emotionally unavailable man and cut your losses early before you and your heart get all wrapped up in his thrill seeking, heat seeking pants.
10 Ways YOU can spot an EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MAN
- He stands you up. This is one is easier to spot than an albino tiger in the wild. I know it hurts, I’ve been there more than once… and if you end up dating Mr Wrong, over and over you can check this out.
- He plays the “Oh sorry. I was really busy,” card when he responds to your text message 3 days later.
- He says, “I’m not looking for anything right now.” When he talks, you need to listen, and not have a Hollywood script in your head that says, “Oh he’s going to want something serious he just doesn’t know me well enough yet, I’ll put on my fake eyelashes, a sexy dress and be like Taylor Swift Sings, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream. Don’t play these games with yourself, it will be much easier on your fragile heart.
- He doesn’t make plans to meet you, because he always has an excuse of being too busy with his daughter, or working is too much of a heavy load, or that he had a stalker and is afraid to meet you. (This is a good reason for a guy to feel paranoid, but I know you would never be a creeper!).
- He is a master of seduction. These men are hard to find, and when we find one, it is like your pants seem to fall off – like magic (a little too quickly for your normal, (not-high-on-1-too-many-oxytocin-martinis) comfort level). If you are worried about this happening with Mr. Smooth, follow these 3 Steps: 1. DO NOT do ANY bikini maintenance. 2. DO NOT shave your legs, and 3. DO wear your period underwear. These methods are as good as wearing an uncomfortable, and very effective, chastity belt.
- He has a bad temper. He is rude to servers, talks bad about his ex and is bad mannered in your presence. If someone is like this from the get-go, run for your emotional life before he crushes your heart with his mean-spirited demeanor.
- A man who is on his phone constantly on your date. This is a huge indicator that his mind is somewhere else. Those Facebook status updates can wait, and he can wait for the next victim (not you).
- They think only about their wants and needs, and not yours. Uggghhh. This is NO fun and you will end up being a doormat.
- They have had many short-term relationships in the recent past. Sally 2 weeks ago, Manica last month…
- You just know it. You have a funny feeling. Your belly feels weird. The hairs stand up on your arms. You feel a tingling in your left pinkie. Whatever it is… LISTEN!
BONUS TIP #1: If he wants you to drive to him, and won’t even consider switching his schedule around, forget about him STAT!
BONUS TIP #2: If your brain keeps talking you INTO seeing him again, don’t listen to it. It’s your ego, not your heart.
When you are dating, keep you heart open, and appreciate Mr. Unavailable, because he is doing you a favor to give you more experience, and leave you open to meet Mr. Emotionally and Physically Available, and you will thank yourself for seeing the signs early on.