Let’s set the scene. You’re glistening in fresh sweat after a run. Out of nowhere, you get hit on by a guy across the street. Sometimes when a guy asks for your number you don’t know what to do.
Or imagine, You’re in the produce aisle. You and an attractive guy both reach for that shiny apple and lock eyes. Many of us can recall moments when men approach us at the most unexpected times.
What to say when a guy asks for your number
It happened to me a few weeks ago. On Valentine’s Day, I was hit on at one of the most random places you could imagine. A language exchange of all places! If you didn’t know, language exchanges are notorious for men on the prowl.
The crowd was unexpected, I unknowingly came during the party portion of the event. Despite my introverted ways, I had no choice but to adjust to the party atmosphere. This language exchange turned into somewhat of a speed dating event for me. So, I maneuvered from one table to another seamlessly. And that’s just the beginning, I let my inner socialite free.
And the result was, I wasn’t too focused on chatting with one guy. But, a guy there slowed me down from working the room. I got sucked into a conversation with him. He told one bad joke after another. I wasn’t impressed by this guy, and I wanted out.
His jokes went from bad and turned into microaggressions that made me want to pull my hair out just hearing him talk. I eventually escaped from him. He managed to catch me towards the end of the night and asked, “Can I get your number?”
I don’t like giving out my number to guys I don’t like, but…
Sometimes I do begrudgingly give it to then. I have a hard time being honest and telling him no. Instead, I ignored his text a day later and that was it. But I thought to myself, what would’ve been a better way to respond?
It’s not always clear when you’re in the moment. Many attractive women find themselves in this position of how to give or avoid giving their number. Here are a few responses you should remember when a guy asks for your number
How to say yes when he asks for your number:
So say you’re digging this guy, he’s an attractive man. Then he pops the question! (Not that question) The “Can we keep in touch?” can I get your number question.
You’re chatting him up on Bumble and he wants to move the conversation off the app. You still want to keep boundaries but still keep in contact.
Giving your actual phone number isn’t always the best option for you. Remember you’ve got options madame.
#1 For the Professional: Give Him Your Business Card
Say you’re going to a convention. You’re there to make connections right? And if he asks, he is definitely focused on making more than professional connections.
So, slide him that business card even if you assume he has ulterior motives when he asks for your number. You may be caught off guard, but giving your business card is the perfect way to stay appropriate to the atmosphere you’re in. It’s a chance to potentially link up with a single successful guy.
Ideal to use at:
- Business trips
- Networking events
- Social gatherings
- Formal events
#2 For the Stealthy: Get a Google Voice Number
Activating a Google Voice Number is helpful for you if you’re uncertain about the guy and want to be vigilant when sharing your personal information. If you’re in a country that doesn’t support Google Voice, TextNow is also a great option with similar features.
Ideal to use:
- In passing
- If you’ve only had short conversations
#3 For the Bold and Brave: Ask him for his phone number or social media
I’m typically not a fan of putting yourself in a place of pursuing him. I believe this approach uniquely benefits you. When you ask for his information you can possibly get information on this guy before you proceed in contacting him.
When he tries to get your number, just tell him, “Hmm, let me get your Instagram.” This shows interest, yet you know want to do more investigating before deciding to keep in contact. That’s setting yourself as an irresistible high-value woman.
So in being a high-value woman, you aren’t letting him in until you scope him out.
Now, this is not a pass to go overboard and go deep-sea diving into his every comment and like on his Instagram posts. Remember setting healthy boundaries in dating is a two-way street.
Ideal situations to share your social media :
If you’ve only had short conversations.
If he has a shot with you, you may want to check out our article on what questions to ask on the first date.
How to say no when he asks for your number:
If you have a hard time deciding if a guy is a ‘no’ for you, you may struggle with setting boundaries. It’s 2020 and it’s time to get clear on those.
Try creating your own personal Love Map. Work through your list of desires you have for a future mate. Once you’ve gotten clear with your Love Map, you will know when you’re not interested.
No need to waste time if you know he’s not matching those qualities. Nevertheless, when you know you want to say no, then it’s time to figure out if you go with just a simple no, or give an alternative.
#4 Be Direct—Just Say no.
This method is for the ladies that have no problem just getting to the point. If he seems like a guy with good intentions, be considerate and soften the blow with…
“Thanks, I’m not interested.” or
“I don’t give out my number.”
Respect is key, but if he’s rude feel free to just walk away, block or go with the two-letter answer, “N-O.”
Ideal situations to use:
#5 Other Alternative Ways to Say No to Giving Your Number:
Are you sweet and would rather make an excuse? Okay, your phone is dead, you left your phone in the car etc. (This only works if you didn’t use your phone out around him of course.)
Want to go the savage route? Okay, take his number Instead: then never use it.
Or the classic one, say you’re taken or married.
Ideal situations to use:
Bars, clubs, lounges
Anywhere where you won’t have to encounter him again.
Ladies when you think more about your options prior to this, it can make for a more seamless interaction when a guy asks for your number. Prepare for the right approach in the given situation each time.
When you remember these ways to respond are you are taking responsibility for your dating life. It’s a contribution to your confidence in this dating game which will save you time and lead you to the right partner and help you quit bad dating habits!