If you are looking to hear those sweet words of “I love you,” someday from a special someone who has good taste in shoes and looks good in a towel, you’ll want to be prepared. Do not make the top 4 online dating mistakes that could leave you high and dry and ready to cry.
1. Having serious expectations before you meet.
Sure, you feel like you know this new guy you met online last week, but in reality, you are just getting to know him. You might feel like you could spend the rest of your days cuddled up on the couch watching romantic comedies every weekend, because he likes chick flicks, and gets your weird sense of humor.
It seems like no one else on the planet cares for your purple mascara, but he actually likes it, or at least he says so. How could he not like it? You’re the one wearing it, and you just know he’s going to be the next man in your life to say I love you.
It’s fun to know what you want in your life, but it’s an epic online dating mistake to Photoshop your head and someone’s head (which whom you’ve never even met) on Vera Wang wedding dress advertisement.
Having expectations without even meeting someone can lead to EPIC disappointment. Don’t expect a honeymoon in Jamaica before you’ve even met the guy.
2. Investing too much time texting before you meet.
You give him your number. He sends you that first text of, “hey it’s Tom.” And you like it. Then comes the bathroom selfie picture, and you like that one too. Then he says “lets be pen pals for a while first.” You agree, and when you do, you send texts to each other of your kids, yourself, every day for days and days on end, and you feel like you really know him.
But in reality you haven’t met. You might be in for an even bigger disappointment when actually meeting him may never happen.
If you’ve invested a month of your time, and an extra 20 bucks because you upped your texting plan to unlimited just to connect with him, this can leave you feeling empty when the texting comes to a screeching halt.
Spending too much time texting with a man you’ve never met, can and will sweep you off of your feet, because women feel connected through their brains first and that’s where texting starts. If he’s romantic in his texts you begin to have a fantasy love affair with Mr. Text Message and that may all it ends up ever being.
3. Waiting too long to meet.
Getting to know a new prospect in the possible I love you department, with a few texts, emails or phone calls is a good idea to get you feeling comfortable with someone, especially to a new online dater who may have cold feet. But I would suggest not waiting too long. I say, “the sooner the better.”
If you talk with a new online dating match for 5 months, and you finally do meet. You have built up plenty of expectations in your mind, and more likely than not, he will not be what you expected.
You decide to meet at your favorite Indian buffet. You walk in, and he stands up. He has a rat-tail (EPIC fail that was not in his pictures) and won’t even touch a vegetable because his brother made him eat grass as a kid.
You were ready to leave before you even sat down after you saw the back of his head. And you had all these expectations built up because you waited too long. Just don’t do it.
4. Closing your options before you meet.
After you chat for a while, he tells you that he’s going to cancel his online dating subscription because he is so into you. And you think, that maybe this is the perfect guy for you. You think it’s great that he’s so into you already. You feel fulfilled too, because he is giving you so much attention, and you like it.
Just because this stranger is turning off his online profile doesn’t mean you follow suit. Even though you can imagine what it will be like when you are together, it doesn’t mean you should close off your options. Keep your online dating profile active until you meet, you have chemistry, you have had a few dates and you have a discussion about being exclusive.
Then and only then should you turn off your online dating profile.
If you invest too much time too fast your heart can and will get all tangled up with someone else’s, when you should be keeping your options open to other dates.
Online dating is a fun learning experience and if you keep an open heart, and open mind and an active dating profile you will be well on your way to hearing those special words again someday, as long as you steer clear of these online dating mistakes.
But don’t expect to hear “I Love You” from a stranger, and don’t expect them from a text message… That would just be creepy. And when you do hear those 3 special words again, it will be so much better with someone you’ve actually met.