After reading and writing thousands of online dating profiles, I have seen a thing or two when it comes to the good, the bad an d90% of the profiles online are just downright boring. I have picked out the 2 biggest online dating mistakes singles make with their profile.
I have not only read all of these profiles for personal reasons, and I also read them because people are interesting and I write them for a living. I love to learn about what makes an online dating profile trigger something in a primal way inside someone’s brain.
Creating an online profile in a way that is sensual, funny and intriguing is an art, and not everyone has that skill. I have written hundreds of online dating makeovers in my career with outstanding success. I can almost hear the applause from the men and women all over the world are overcome with joy when they find a thought provoking, fantasy inducing, well-written profile. Hooray!
The things that most people don’t understand when they are getting an online profile is how not to make themselves sound like everyone else. The same problems arise in almost every single online dating profile. Here are the most frequents no-no’s that will send Mary deleting your email in the wink of her perfectly shadowed eye before you even have a chance to show her how exciting you really are.
Online Dating Mistake #1
Using seemingly harmless words like…
- I’m just a guy
- Average (blech!)
- I work hard and play hard (yawn…)
- I have a good sense of humor (no one is laughing)
In the online dating world boring words are actually harmful to your dating life. These are the types of well-known phrases that do nothing to build intrigue but they do however leave you with a hefty stockpile of messages that nobody ever responds to, because your profile is pretty… well… generic. It’s general. It’s common. I don’t like to say the same word too many times, but I want to bring it home to you one more time so I’ll spell it out for you B-O-R-I-N-G!
When anyone sees the words “I’m just an average guy” it certainly doesn’t send shivers down anyone’s spine, but it does trigger a response for whoever is reading your profile to say inside of their head “Next! And please hurry before I fall asleep I need a date this weekend.”
Here are some key insights to fixing some of the mediocre epidemic that is running rampant through the online dating world.
Fast n Fab Fix #1: Get out your bow and arrow
When you want to write about who you are don’t be ho-hum.
Prepare, sharpen your arrow and practice.
Write it till you get it right.
Get to the bull’s-eye of the matter and use some good descriptive words. Write about juicy details.
Instead of saying “I like to go biking,” write, “ When I coast down my favorite mountain trail with the wind blowing through my hair, I feel like a little kid again. And I feel like such a rebel when I don’t wear my helmet.
It has feeling, paints a picture of what you are like and will make you smile at her being such a “rebel.”
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Online Dating Mistake #2 The I, I, I, I, Is have it.
The word “I” is so easy to use when you are talking about yourself. It just seems right. I seems natural. But when it comes from a writing standpoint, sometimes you’ve got to think outside of your eye’s line of sight. You need a little writing peripheral vision and to open the online thesaurus if you can’t seem to think of any more interesting words.
This is how sentences start in online profiles so much of the time…
- I like dancing.
- I love eating pizza.
- I love going out with my friends.
- I really like my family.
- I like keeping fit.
Fast n Fab Fix #2: Bring out some storytelling and include the other person.
Dancing makes me forget about everything, and I would love to meet someone who wants to join me on my saucy salsa adventures.
Having a pizza party where everyone makes their own grilled creation is my kind of party! Do you have a favorite recipe?
My favorite way to keep fit is hitting the treadmill at the gym. I would like to start lifting weights but I need someone to spot me. Got any ideas?
You don’t need to sound like you are writing for the literary journal in your online dating profile. You can use everyday words like you are talking in real life. Write about the things in your life that bring you joy and don’t forget to write about what kind of joy you will bring to someone else if you connect with them. Don’t take it personally if you don’t get any messages. Not getting any online messages is a message from the universe. It is whispering in your ear “something isn’t working in your dating life you have the power to change it.”
Dina Z Colada is an online dating hacker at DinaColada.com. Find your best self with Dina’s Online profile service and receive 30 minutes of free coaching with any when you choose the show your best self, instead of your most boring self. Sign up today and don’t let another smoking hot date pass you by again.