Love is in the air especially during the holidays. But for some of us who are single, well… let’s just say some of us have “Given Up” on love, or even just a one night stand. You may even say to yourself, “It’s just not worth it.”
But then you see that happy couple holding hands shopping together and it gives you a twinge of jealousy, and maybe a little glimmer of hope, for you.
So instead of trying so hard to do everything, read this list of things to give up. Don’t give up on love, give up on what isn’t working.
1. Give up the need to always be right. If your date picks a restaurant you don’t love, go anyway. There’s no need to suggest your favorite 5 star joint if he doesn’t bring it up. I’m sure they’ll have something you can eat there and it’s not going to kill you to eat iceburg lettuce one time this year.
2. Give up trying to control what a man is does. No matter how badly you want a man to call or text you, you can’t change that fact that he isn’t calling or texting you. It’s time to live your own life and focus on what makes you happy, besides his measly late night phone call.
3. Give up on blaming a man for how you feel. It’s not a man’s fault that you are still bitter about a past relationship. This new guy has nothing to do with your past. He’s the new guy. He’s not the one that slept with your best friend or left his beard trimmings in the sink.
A Goddess takes responsibility for her own feelings and finds things that make her feel good.
4. Give up your limiting beliefs. Give up thinking that a man is too good for you because no man is too good for you. You deserve to be with the perfect man that is perfect for you. Even if it’s only for a minute. You are an amazing Goddess and when you realize it, men will be lining up, just to be near you.
5. Give up on self-defeating talk. Please don’t tell yourself that you need to be prettier, skinnier, or somethinger to find a good date. If your best friend was saying the things to you that you say to yourself, would you still be her friend? Probably not. Be a friend to yourself first, a man second.
6. Give up on complaining about what a man is not doing. If he’s not making dates with you, don’t complain about it. Get on your big girl Goddess pants and have some fun with your friends, or even better, get a date with that cute nerdy guy who wears bow ties to work.
7. Give up on criticizing a man for what he is doing. If he’s asking you out last minute, you don’t need to complain to him about it. Just don’t go. Your actions will speak volumes.
Complaining is one of the biggest turn-offs for men.
Don’t accept a last minute date if it doesn’t make you feel good. If you are busy reading a book or making dinner, that is busy enough to graciously decline him 9pm “classy invitation.”
8. Give up your need to impress a man. Wear what you want because it makes you feel good, not because you think he would want you to wear it. If you like purple nail polish and he doesn’t, he’s going to have to learn to love it if he wants you to stick around. Because purple is your color.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
Change makes the world go round.
If you had to wear the same dress every day, life would be boring. The same thing goes for when you’re single. There’s no need to focus on just one construction worker even if he has arms that could pick you and your best friend up. You can go out with Dr. Bob and your mailman in the same week. You can see them all in the same day if you feel like, and you have the time before any exclusivity is going on. That’s called breakfast, lunch and dinner.
10. Give up labels. You’ve only gone on a date or two, right? There’s not need for the title of “boyfriend, and there’s no need for you to give up your other options just yet.
11. Give up on your fears of getting hurt by another man. When you’re single and dating you could feel bad if a man doesn’t call or doesn’t even show up on a date. The first time it happened to me I felt devastated and confused. I didn’t know if I should be concerned or mad.
I thought maybe he was in a car crash or needed me by his side while he was in a coma. The only other reason that was acceptable for him missing a date with me was that he had passed on to the other side. Then I saw his active profile on match.com a few days later. He had a great excuse of being at a Mormon college (where there was no internet service) and his phone and computer had both been stolen. He did get points for creativity.
Dating will toughen you up and get you used to some bad man behaviors, but a mature man will be tipping the scales on good behavior.
12. Give up on your excuses. There are plenty of good men out there, and if you don’t think you have time, you can make time. Do you want to be like Bea Arthur on the Golden Girls?
13. Give up the past. The past is for learning about who you are. For instance, you don’t need to bring your past relationships on your dates. Please don’t project all of the bad qualities in your last relationship onto this guy. You barely know him.
14. Give up attachment. Just because you’re going on a date with this man, doesn’t mean your children are going to have his unattached earlobes. This is only a date.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. If a man expects you to be at his beck and call, and you have your favorite zumba class on Friday night, and that’s his usual “date night.” You don’t have to arrange your schedule to fit his. You happen to be available “most” Saturdays, unless he waits until Saturday night to ask you out.
In conclusion, giving up on things that don’t work for you gives you the ultimate power when you are dating. Stop trying to control things you can’t control and your love life will flourish.