How to Find a Decent Guy
Building a healthy relationship is now more difficult than ever. It is not unusual to hear a woman claiming that decent men do not exist. In fact, you might end up hearing some women claiming that good men are already taken.
What most women forget is that dating is hard for everyone and it up to you to work hard to ensure that you have found a guy who is compatible with you.
Unfortunately, there is that girl who gets herself stuck with the wrong guy over and over. In the end, you give up and claim that good men do not exist and adopt some pets.
While it is easy to blame the men you date, for their inability to commit, you also need to re-evaluate yourself and determine why you attract the wrong men every time.
If you have been dating Mr. Wrong or Mr. Cheater every time you get into a relationship, perhaps some things have driven you down that nasty road that you need to change.
Here are some excellent tips to help you find a decent guy that will help you solve your painful no-love problem.
Be clear on what you are looking for in a man
Most ladies get lost in the dating world since they do not know for sure what they need in a man. It’s time to figure it out!
Many women define men they are looking for as tall, handsome and financially stable. However, these factors may be important to you, but do not determine a decent guy.
There is much more to men than that, (thankfully!). And you can attract a man using the law of attraction.
If you get engaged to a guy, who earns ten times more than you and does not respect you or treasure you, it is only a matter of time and he will start seeing you as a liability. Yikes. Not a good combination.
Some of the traits that you should look for in a guy include the ability to forgive, similar backgrounds, interested in building a family, (or not), confronted without becoming defensive, and one who is also and faithful if you are not a polyamorous kind of woman.
However, you should not give in to hopeless guys who seem like they do not have a future since you will be ruining your life too.
A man who is seriously in debt gambles away his money, has substance abuse problems, or has anger issues… he may get better someday. But it is much better if it is NOT on your watch.
Look in the right places
Looking in the wrong places will lead you to find the incompatible men. Spend time in areas where people have a zest for life such as trade shows, churches, and corporate summits, bookstores, and online, among other suitable social places.
Most decent guys usually hang out in places where they are likely to meet decent women; therefore, your chances of meeting Mr. Right are high if you spend time on respectable social sites.
How would you expect a guy respect you and love you if you do not respect yourself in the first place? Any guy will want to date a high profile and respectable woman.
If you appreciate yourself, you will in a good position to identify joy-riders and avoid them. If you fall for any man who smiles at you or gets wasted with anyone who invites him for a drink, chances are you will always be a victim of scavengers who want you just for one night, and that’s all.
You should show every man who has interest in you that you need to be taken seriously not just used as a doll for his pleasure. Learn How to Make Him Respect You. This comes in the form of loving yourself more than him.
Get over your past
If you are still hurting from the past, love yourself enough to process those emotions. Do not feel hopeless since it will hold you back from experiencing a good relationship with another man.
Not every guy out there is a monster; there are still cute and humble men who can make a wonderful partner.
Do not let your past emotions stop you from getting out there and meet new people. The only difference is that this time you will be more careful about the choices you make. Because you know so much more now than you did in the past.
If you cross paths with a guy, who seems to be a good partner for you let him don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. It’s OK to let him know that you have been hurt before and you would not like it to happen again. If he gets scared off, then he was not right for you, and probably doesn’t know how to support a real woman.
However, if a guy hears about your painful past and continues to support you and shows that he cares about your feelings, then this will bring you closer. However, you should let him know your past heartbreak, do not show it as a sign of weakness since he might end up taking advantage of you.
Build up confidence
Confidence helps you to make the right choices. Also, most decent men love confident women who know what they need in life.
In fact, most guys who will approach you will subject you to a series of tests to determine what kind of a woman you are. If they find that you are a strong and confident woman, then they will try their best to win your heart over and never let you go.
Check your company
As the saying goes ‘Birds of a Feather Flock Together.’ if you are always in a company of unwanted girls, guys will also avoid you thinking you the same. If your girlfriends are the type that get wasted all day and all night then even if a great guy had a thing for you, he may not know how to approach you.
However, if you surround yourself with people who have good hearts and uplift you, a great guy will eventually find a way to be with you without second thoughts.
If you want a guy to stick around, let him know. Most decent men do not like games. They want a straightforward woman that they can trust and cherish. If he does not learn where you stand he might get scared off easily.
While dating may seem like a complex issue, if you bring yourself together and take the necessary actions, it will be easier for you to find the man of your dream that you always imagined. It is also highly recommended that after you have found the right guy, you should ensure that he is also happy to have been found you.
Most relationships fail since most women think that it is the men’s job to love them. You should always remember that love should go both ways
This article was a guest post from my friend John at TheDatingGame.co