We are coming together to figure out ourselves while we are having fun dating and maybe just finding a partner. One of the best parts of dating is finding ourselves.
But for now, you are single. I know, I know… Sometimes it sucks spending Friday night home alone. But that is a choice. You can actually get out outside of your comfort zone and change things up a bit. We are going to start with the free dating advice for women with a question.
This is a million dollar question, and I know not all women will answer yes. I know a few ladies who are cool as a cucumber (myself included) and some ladies who have played it way too cool (myself included). Here goes…
Are you single because you are too dramatic?
No. Maybe. Well, there was that one time I freaked out, or yelled at my now ex-boyfriend or husband. OK, it’s a big YES. I have lost my temper in the past… And, oh yeah, I did forget about the time I threw a plate when he was late for dinner.
I started writing this because of something a man said.
I was at the gym last night and ran into a friend of mine who happens to be online dating (I’ve seen his little thumbnail more than once). He was all worked up over the wheel of fortune show that was on the TV at my local gym. It was really funny watching his reactions. His friend and I hit the hot tub for some relaxing after our hard work out.
He’s handsome, successful and very single. He said, “You women are crazy, except for you of course.” I agreed with the last part, and with some of the first part of what he said too.
I had not read enough free dating advice for women after my divorce, and I still hadn’t figured out who I what it was that I wanted.
I dated a few guys who were shall we say “a little more than a teensy bit toxic.” After dating those guys and “falling” for them, I had my guard up because those low self esteem toxic men tried to break me down with the way they spoke with me.
I was empathetic with the first guy because I knew his dad was a jerk, and he had been brain washed by Howard Stern, but I quickly exited the once lustful relationship because he talked about other women in front of me and wanted me to have sex with other people so he could watch. I didn’t cross that line because it wasn’t something I didn’t want to invite into my life (like his other previous lovers had allowed). I was sweet and understanding to a point.
Weekend after weekend of him saying “It’s all about your pleasure baby,” and me walking away confused and crying, it didn’t take long for me to end that toxic relationship. In every relationship I take away a golden nugget of wisdom and after I met him, I learned about forgiveness, boundaries and compassion.
The second guy I wasn’t quite as sweet and understanding. By the time I met him, well… I was feeling a bit feisty and independent. He became contemptuous when I didn’t let him tell me what do, and I went into survival mode.
I became even more independent after that one because I was so hurt from the way we I felt around him, and the way I let him treat me. Do you see I said, “I allowed him to treat me poorly,” but not for long.
After that second toxic relationship I was becoming bitter and afraid of opening my heart again. I learned once again what noxious traits were in a man.
And the third guy I met was as sweet as pie in the beginning. Until he would say something that wasn’t perfect, and I would fly off the handle, because I had been burned. We have all been there,I was not in control of my emotions at all, because I was independent, dammit, and I didn’t need a man, but I sure wanted one. I couldn’t do anything but push him away when he did come around.
But in my eyes, the man who was romancing me (or at least trying to) couldn’t seem to get anything right. I would question everything he said and did and was certainly no in control of my emotions and emasculated him every step of the way.
It ruined the relationship before it even got started. This is why I am doing what I am doing here. Because I don’t want you to miss out on a great guy because you can’t control yourself. I wish for you to gain confidence in your boundaries, your voice and saying what you need to say, without being “bitchy.” Being bitchy gets you nowhere real fast with a good guy.
I walked away from this one with yet another broken heart, and so much more wisdom. I learned how to not put a previous relationship in a new one. I also learned to receive and not be so controlling. And the biggie was learning how to have compassion and forgive myself. I was doing the best I could with what I knew.
After that man, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and me and keep control of my emotions, but NEVER hide them.
The best thing we can do when we are single, is to learn about ourselves and how to communicate authentically with men.
So if you want to more learn the best free dating advice for women, stay tuned for more ways to make your dating life epic.