You might not have one of the best online dating profiles if you have trouble meeting the right men.
There are a few things you can to that will attract any man to message you fast! It’s to have the best online dating profiles.
I want to let you in on a little secret. Most people’s online dating profiles are mediocre to pretty awful. If your online dating profile doesn’t stand out, don’t worry. It will be incredible if you use the following sneaky tips.
People’s online dating profiles aren’t bad because the people are uneducated, unsuccessful, or unattractive.
Most people just don’t know how to write one.
It’s a skill I have refined over the years and it took a lot of trial and error to help me make them as good as Grandma’s homemade pancakes.
I’m going to list a few simple reasons why people’s online dating profiles usually suck
- People don’t know how to write good things about themselves.
- Not everyone has the iPhone 8 camera (which takes amazing photos by the way!).
- Grammar is not your forte.
- You failed 12th grade English.
- You are “too busy” wishing you had a date to take time out of your life to write your profile.
- Many people write logically like they are an engineer working on a technical paper for NASA.
Here is a problem with life moving so fast today
Let’s say someone asks you about yourself.
What defines you?
So many of us identify with our names and our job.
This question is asked much too often and we don’t think we run on automatic responses.
What’s your name and what do you do? (Insert automatic robot voice below).
Hello. My name is Sally. I am an accountant.
Hello. My name is Susan. I am a single mom.
Hello. My name is Pari. I am in finance.
I’m about ready to do a faceplant on my keyboard after those three generic responses.
People identify with these questions and answers because its what they are used to.
It’s the kind of question people ask when they meet you for the first time. It may be what you ask other people when first meeting.
The first question out of the mouths of many strangers is, “So, what do you do?”
It may be boring, but it’s true.
Do yourself a favor and come up with some new questions you can ask strangers. You will become more interesting!
- What is one of your passions?
- I love that shirt. Where did you get it?
- Where is your favorite restaurant and why?
- What’s your most memorable vacation?
I know I got a little off topic, but it just came out of me like a slushie at the convenience store big gulp.
And to top it off— I never drink slushies, and I confused myself by even mentioning it.
Speaking of being confused . . . Some of us are even confused about our names
Because we’ve been married or divorced, and have changed our names, one, or twice, or more.
When I got married, I didn’t want to take my husband’s name. But I did it to make my mom and my husband happy.
(Note to self: Don’t ever change your name because someone else thinks you “should”).
I wanted to keep my last name— I loved it. My last name was Stump.
Keeping it, in some form, gave me at least some sense of control in my Doormat-itis, people-pleasing days.
So I made my last name my middle name and took my husband’s last name as my last name. Say what?!?!
When I got divorced, I stopped using my weird legal name with a crazy tree middle name and started using my pen name.
There was so much confusion about something that should be so simple.
It’s a name, but mine had become an epic novel with so many twists and turns I didn’t even know who I was.
I’ve had several names. My maiden name, my married name, and my pen name. My new pen name. My pen name with the initial I had to come up with because someone else had “Dina Colada” on Facebook. (I’m pretty sure she stole that name before I could claim it there!).
How many names do you have?
Part of being single is having the time to yourself to figure out who you are. So maybe that’s part of the reason you are online is and reading this to help you answer the question.
Who am I?
I FINALLY decided on my name and who I was thank goodness. At least for the moment.
So your name is essential to know. Figure yours out.
I am Dina Colada
Who are you?
When you figure it out, own it— And do not apologize for it.
Getting clear on everything, even your name, will help you have one of the best online dating profiles and as a bonus— The best life
Figuring out you is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
OK. I’m getting off the names and back to online dating profiles again.
This one sneaky thing will help you have the best online dating profiles
I’ve written and read thousands of online dating profiles, and I’ve tweaked my own at least a hundred times.
I’ve learned what speaks to the hearts of men (and women) to make them click on your profile.
I don’t speak logically when I write. I speak emotionally and so can you.
Men’s emotional minds and the primal parts of their brain make them click on your profile, message you and ask you out on real live dates.
When a man falls in love, he doesn’t use his logical mind.
With an engaging profile, a man can’t think straight, and he lets his emotions lead the way.
Emotions are what make men do these things:
- Click on your photo.
- Swipe right.
- Wink at you.
- IM you.
- Email you.
- Text you.
- Call you.
- Message you.
- Ask you on a first date.
- Beg you for a second date.
All because you have one of the best online dating profiles using emotional language.
When a person creates one of the best online dating profiles, you tap into emotions
You can say I’m Juniper, and I’m an engineer— But this logical wording doesn’t intrigue a man.
A well-written profile gets to the heart of what makes you tick.
I want you to want to write in a way that speaks emotionally to a man.
Get into your heart in your best online dating profiles. Being emotionally engaging is the easiest way to start a romance on the tricky cyber road.
You are not your job; you are much more. You are a living feeling, breathing, emotional person.
Your online dating profile is the best time for to get emotional
You are emotional and in tune. This is what men want in a woman. Emotions.
I’m not talking about dramatic emotions. Your online dating profile needs to be written with emotions.
When you share your feelings, this can help a man tap into his emotions and feelings for you. Feelings will inspire him to want to get to know you.
The best online dating profiles depict an accurate description of your inner emotional world, not just what you do in the office.
Portraying what you are like using interesting descriptive, emotional language will drive the right kind man to message you and ask you out on dates.
When you lead with your emotions and aren’t afraid of them, it will lead you to amazing dates, relationships, and lasting love.
According to a researcher the word “Love” is the most common word used on OKCupid profiles.
Love is about the least logical word I can think of. Don’t be afraid to sprinkle love in your online dating profiles.
Use the word love to create the best online dating profiles
It was shown to be the most widely used word on OKCupid.
I love this.
I love that.
I love the way I feel when . . .
I love it when a man . . .
Before I get into more of what good online dating profiles look like, I want to share what a lousy online dating profiles look like first
Pictures and real names will not be included to protect the not-so-innocent creators of these mediocre and horrible online dating profiles.
So here goes.
These are all online dating profiles from women I found on Tinder.
Amy has five close up photos. She doesn’t have a single word written about herself and what she is looking for in a man.
Having no words in your profile is a BIG no-no.
In one photo Amy is wearing sunglasses.
Another one of her photos she has snap chat animal ears and nose.
Just stop already with the animal ears.
In all five of her photos, she uses snapchat filters.
I know you don’t like wrinkles, none of us do. But men want to see the real you, not the snapchat overly filtered you. At least not in every picture.
Men don’t want to see you as a kitty cat. If he does want to see you with whiskers, he might have some weird animal fetish.
If this who you want to attract? The kitty cat perv? It that is your thing, then let him hear you purr in the bedroom.
Leave the snapchat animal photos for your 6-year old nephew who thinks his aunt Amy is the coolest family member ever.
Don’t ruin your profile with animal ears of anything on your face.
Get rid of the puppy ears Amy I’m begging you— This is a step to making a man fall in love with you.
I think snap chat is cute, but it is for another place and time that is not on your online dating profile.
I want to go through some fixes for Amy’s D- online dating profile
- Get more photos!
- Write something interesting, or contact me for an online dating profile makeover here.
Here’s my next victim.
Alexander is a pretty woman. She has one photo of her face, and that’s it!
One pic is not enough in the eye-candy department. Remember men are visual.
Do yourself a favor and get some more photos and some captivating words on Tinder, Alexander.
Alexander gets a big fat F on her online dating profile’s report card. She doesn’t have enough stuff. Period.
She has one close-up photo (not enough as I’m sure you have figured out by now).
But at least she has some words.
I’m going to paraphrase her bio, so Google doesn’t see me as plagiarizing Mary from Tinder.
Mary also only has one close up photo like so many other ladies online.
Here’s what she says:
It’s hard for me to find the sweet spot between a mysterious woman and creating a biographical novel for you to scour over.
I just moved to Chicago this year, and I’m looking for new friends and possibly more if it so happens that we have great vibes.
I’m super nerdy and have lots of interests. If you are sarcastic, we might get along.
I like people who are smart, curious and kind.
My big turn offs are Trump and the NRA.
Here is my grading of Mary’s online dating profile.
Major points off for only having one close up photo.
Her first sentence is pretty clever and funny. I give her big points for this. Creativity sells your profile.
She is open to possibilities in her second line which is good but . . .
In her last line about Trump, she is weeding out what she doesn’t want in an overly negative way.
Here are some sneaky tips for Mary to make her online dating profile much better.
Instead of her profile basically saying, “I hate Trump, and if you like him— I will also hate you. Swipe left!”
Say something like this instead, “I’m a liberally minded woman and click with people who have similar political viewpoints.”
Sounds much better, doesn’t it? There isn’t any hate or judgment going on that way.
Just tweak your bio if you notice any negativity going on.
To have the best online dating profiles focus on what you DO want instead of what you don’t want.
Mary gets a C- for trying to write something creative.
Here’s another online dating profile example
Once again, she also only has one picture of her face as well. This trend has got to stop.
She’s a realtor and says she wants to meet cool people.
She’s 5’8, and 6’ with her heels and she states her weight of 167 lbs.
Note to self— Don’t put in your weight online for people to logically analyze your BMI.
No man needs to know how much you weigh. You do not need to weigh in for a wrestling match in your online dating profiles.
When you get to know each other, that may be another story. There may even be wrestling with pudding involved (if you’re lucky).
You don’t need to weigh in with your physical stature with your words online.
Leave a weighty little mystery.
Then Keesha she goes on to say what she is NOT looking for . . . I’m getting my red pen ready.
I don’t want guys to message me for sex because I’m a prude. I’m not into that with a complete stranger.
Red Pen. Red Pen. Red Pen. This is an online dating profile editors nightmare.
I’ve heard from men that when they see words written like this in online dating profiles and they think:
“This chick is totally down with getting down. That’s why she wrote that. She’s not fooling anyone.”
So don’t pretend you don’t want to have sex because we all know you probably do— At least someday anyway.
And if you say the word sex, the man is automatically going to think about— You guessed it. SEX!
Then she goes on to say “I’m a hopeless romantic, but I’m known as a heartbreaker! But I think I can find true love on Tinder.”
Any good man that is interested in a relationship is going to turn the other way.
He certainly doesn’t want his heart broken. It’s taken him five years to get over his last girlfriend.
These kinds of things will go on in a good man’s mind with Keesha’s words that need to be erased for eternity.
- She’s down with crazy monkey sex with random strangers.
- I don’t want to get my heart broken again, so I’m going to stay away from this woman.
- She thinks she can find true love with that profile; she’s wrong. Dead wrong.
A good guy is going to swipe right faster than a player could imagine tearing off her clothes and getting busy on the first date.
To have one of the best dating profiles you only have to have two things.
1. Amazing pictures.
2. Intriguing words.
Two things are all you need, people!
Let’s talk a bit more about the physical aspects of an online dating profile’s photos
Showing your smile will help you have one of the best dating profiles.
A man wants to see what you would look like when you are flirting with him in person.
When he sees your photo, he will imagine that smile is just for him.
Let him experience you happy and beautiful.
Looking at the best online dating profiles is similar to watching a movie
- Imagine yourself as the main character.
- You fall in love with the lead actor when the actress realized he’s the man for her.
- The pain of heartbreak when the lead actors breakup feels like it’s you.
When there is a funny scene, you feel happy and laugh out loud with them.
It’s like you are the there. You feel the emotions of the actors. You are in it.
Make a man feel like he’s inside your heart on your online dating profiles so he will want to win you!
A man will feel like he’s in your movie when you write with emotions. Don’t write a drama or a sci-fi flick. Write your romance film starting with the opening scene.
Put yourself in the man’s shoes. What does he want to see in his future date/partner? Men want someone that is happy!
There are multiple studies showing the power of a smile attracting more people.
When your eyes crinkle around the edges, you know a smile is a real deal. Real smiles are attractive.
Think about cheesy grade school pics where kids look like they are fake smiling.
A fake smile is only in the mouth. Don’t do this. Get your feelings and your eyes involved.
Smile for real in your online photos because men can spot a faker from across thousands of cyber miles.
Also, have more than one photo. You’ve got to have at least one close up, and one body shot. More is better.
Men are visual and want to see your body. (In clothing of course!)
I suggest having up to 7 photos for each profile. Make them all different and don’t use snap chat filters.
Those are the basic photo tips I have time to share with you today. If you want extensive research on online dating profile picture tips for women, you can grab my ebook “The Woman He Dreams About” on Amazon for only $2.99.
And when you get it, please leave 5 stars and let me know what you think!
This short read will have you reeling in incredible men, and you will have your pick!
Now I want to get into the thick of what to say in your bio to have one of the best online dating profiles.
1. Give him details about you to make your online dating profile stand out.
You’ll want to share some of yourself with men online.
Not all of you, but little tidbits into your incredible life.
You want him to be inspired to connect with you. To encourage him, be specific and emotional.
Instead of saying you love the beach, here are some things you can talk about that are descriptive.
- Write about the WHY you love the beach.
- Talk about your favorite beach spot.
- Bring up memories of your best beach experience.
- Speak of how the beach makes you FEEL.
- Tell about how you need someone to help you put on your coconut-scented sunscreen.
The word beach can be replaced with mountain, amusement park, hiking trail, biking spot, or a desert.
Whatever you mention in your online dating profile add some specific juicy details about it. Create a picture in a man’s mind with your words.
When you share details about yourself, it makes you seem more human. You will be more than just another pretty face to swipe on.
Men want human. Men want sexy woman human!
Give that single swiper a reason to message you and ask you on a date.
Talking about an unforgettable memory in your online dating profile will make YOU stand out.
A man will pay attention when you have one of the best online dating profiles that overload his senses with memories, visuals, and descriptors.
This is what you can do if you are a terrible writer.
If you aren’t so good with the pen or keyboard, you can create a list of your passions to make one of the best online dating profiles.
Make a list of some of your favorite hobbies if you are desperate to write, but aren’t sure what to do. Bullets are an easy way out.
People love to feel a connection. If you create a bulleted list of things you like online, you may have common ground with someone reading your profile.
There are two steps to creating a unique list.
1. Write the favorite hobbies.
2. Jazz it up with descriptors and emotions!
Here is the ho-hum list:
Here is the heart-strumming best online dating profiles sneaky fixes for bullet points.
- Cleveland Browns lover here! Who is your favorite? It better not be the Patriots, haha!
- Biking fanatic— Cruising down Estes Mountain makes me feel so alive :).
- Expert knitter. If you love playing outside and we get along . . . I will make you the best winter hat you’ve never seen.
- Dean Koontz anyone? The mystery keeps me on the edge of my seat at night (or in my bed!)
Do you see the difference and the emotional connection you can create with simple words?
When you are writing your profile, don’t be afraid to get creative and a little bit sexy.
Pretend you are in working in a Ph.D. Level creative writing class and if you feel stuck— You can get a dating expert to do it for you! Me :).
I want to break down one of the bullets from the list.
Let’s say you are from Cleveland and you love the Browns. The guy reading your profile also loves football, but not the Browns. Even though you have different favorite teams, it still gives you common ground. Football.
People love to connect the dots and see similarities in themselves and you. It will give him something to go on and a reason to message you.
If he loves the Eagles, he will have something to talk about right away! Did you notice the Call To Action at the end asking him to tell you something? And the playful banter?
You are asking his opinion on something, and if he likes a different team, he will gladly tell you why his team is the best.
Being a challenge and showing that you LOVE the Browns and not the Patriots will show him you’ve got spunk.
So get your list on, and if you need help, please ask me!
Don’t be too serious about your online dating profiles when you want to make it stand out from the sea of millions of women.
Sure, getting heavy and philosophical is a good time for some, but it’s OK to be lighthearted in the fabulous online dating profiles department.
When you are lighthearted online, it’s called flirting.
Show your fun side, your sweet side and your flirty, feminine side in your online dating profiles. Your inbox will be thankful when the man you were hoping would message you does!
Sneaky Tip: Be flirtatious with your words, and throw in an ellipse with a sentence unfinished if you want to be a little mysterious . . .
He can add in his own words that he likes. It’s a sneaky trick, but it works.
Something like this: I love to have a little fun when I go boating and then . . .
A man is going to be wondering — What then???
What does she like to do then? I must know!
Here some places his head will more than likely go.
- Does she like to go swimming after?
- Take a shower?
- Go skinny dipping?
- Does she have sex with me?
Give his mind plenty of time to wander with the best online dating profiles.
When he reads your best online dating profiles, you don’t want him to analyze it.
You want him to get his emotional, primal side of his mind in action. Becuase when he’s not thinking is when he will message you.
A sneaky trick you can do with the best online dating profiles is to ask a question
If you love to read, ask for some recommendations in your profile.
For example, you love fiction. David Sedaris is your all-time favorite. You can say “what book should I read next?”
Or if you love to dance to live music ask “Where are the best places to see live music in this town?”
People love to give their opinion so ask for an opinion or for more information in your online dating profile.
This is a pretty extensive list of sneaky best online dating profiles tricks that I have learned over the years, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.